4889软件园 > 资讯文章 > cheaperappwork欢迎进入(越来越多美国人选择去国外看病，原因是……没有医保？)

cheaperappwork欢迎进入(越来越多美国人选择去国外看病，原因是……没有医保？)

作者：佚名来源：4889软件园时间：2023-05-19 10:11:29

cheaperappwork新地址文章列表:

1、越来越多美国人选择去国外看病，原因是……没有医保？
2、每日新闻播报June 26
3、曹德旺美国工厂再调查上
4、中国实现增长预期靠啥？
5、地狱笑话 1、2、3、4 合集

cheaperappwork欢迎进入(越来越多美国人选择去国外看病，原因是……没有医保？)

越来越多美国人选择去国外看病，原因是……没有医保？

据BBC报道，出国看病的美国人每年都在增加，2000年，有29.5万美国人出国看病，而到了2017年，人数涨到了42.2万，医疗旅游（medical tourism）就这么火起来了。

来自美国密西西比的Melissa就是美国出国看病大军的一员，今年早些时候，她去哥斯达黎加一家私立医院做了膝关节置换手术，现在病情正在恢复当中。

“出国做这么大的手术，我本来也是很担心的” (Via BBC)

虽然之前对于出国看病有点疑虑，但对于此行的经历还是很满意：

She praises all the staff that treated her.

她表扬了医院里照顾她的员工。

"I had a meltdown one day [at the hospital] because of the pain, and the feeling of helplessness," she says. "But the nurses and techs were so sweet and helped to calm me."

“有一天，(在医院里)我因为疼痛和无助感而感到沮丧，”她说。 “但护士和技术人员非常好心，帮助我平静下来。”

Via BBC

而且更重要的是，出去这趟还是给她省了不少钱:

She says that her knee operation in Clinica Biblica, Costa Rica's largest private hospital, cost $12,200 (￡9,200), compared with around $44,000 in the US.

Melissa说,她在哥斯达黎加最大的私立医院Clinica Biblicaz做了膝盖手术，费用为12200美元（约81991人民币），而如果在美国做的话，花费约为44000美元（约295706人民币）。

Via BBC

这么看来，价格上的差距可以说是很大了。所以，像Melissa这样选择出国看病，背后的原因也是很无奈：

While many Americans do so because theydon't have health insurance- official figures show that more than 28 million do not - others like Melissa go overseas because their basic cover means that they have to pay a sizeable chunk of any treatment bill.

许多美国人选择出国看病是因为他们没有医疗保险。官方数据显示，美国有超过2800万人没有医疗保险，而其他像Melissa这样的人，就算有保险，看任何病都必须自己支付相当大一部分治疗费用。

Via BBC

图 Via Getty Images

而据The Guardian2018年的一份报道，美国的医疗可以说是世界上最贵的：

高物价让美国医疗成为世界最贵 (Via The Guardian)

The United States spends twice as much on healthcare as 10 other high-income nations, driven by the high price of everything from prescription drugs to doctors’ salaries, a new study in the Journal of the American Medical Association finds.

《美国医学协会杂志》的一项新研究发现，美国在医疗保健方面的花费是其他10个高收入国家的两倍，造成这一现象的原因包括昂贵的处方药以及医生工资等。

Via The Guardian

出于这种原因，出国看病的美国人就越来越多：

人们正在放弃美国医疗，飞去其他国家寻求付得起的医疗服务 (Via thisisinsider.com)

The American healthcare system is known for being notoriously expensive. It doesn't help that, according to data collected in 2017 by the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index,11.3% of Americans are not able to afford health insurance.

众所周知，美国医疗价格非常昂贵。更无奈的是，根据盖洛普健康幸福指数 2017年收集的数据，11.3％的美国人买不起医疗保险。

Even those who do have health insurance often find themselvesstruggling to pay sky-high medical fees. For example, a Reddit user went viral in 2013 when he posted a photo of the hospital bill he received when he was treated for appendicitis. The total charges came to over $55,000, and even with health insurance, he had to pay over $11,000 out of pocket.

即使是有医疗保险的人也经常发现自己付不起高昂的医疗费用。比如，2013年，一名Reddit用户在网上发布了自己接受阑尾炎治疗时收到的医院账单照片，迅速火遍网络。账单总费用超过55000美元，就算是有医疗保险，他也不得不自己支付11000多美元的费用。

Via thisisinsider.com

去年6月，美国加利福尼亚一个博主Alyne Tamir还在网上发布了一条视频，讲述自己去国外看病的经历：

图 Via Dear Alyne/Facebook

In the video, Tamir explained it would have cost $1,500 to fix her tooth in the US. Instead, she had her root canal done in Egypt.

视频中，Tamir解释说，在美国看牙会花费1500美元。于是，她就去埃及做了根管治疗。

"A nice hotel in Egypt costs around $70 a night," she told INSIDER. "And the actual root canal was only $120. This was at a fancy dentist too; you can definitely get it for way cheaper somewhere else in Egypt."

在埃及，住一家不错的酒店每晚花费约70美元，”她告诉INSIDER。 “做根管只需要120美元，而且还是一个比较贵的牙医。在埃及，你也完全可以找到其他更便宜的价格。”

Via VCG

而且据报道，美国大多数保险公司的保险项目不包含某些牙科项目以及整容，其国内的这些医疗项目有又非常贵，就有人选择去国外做。

In the US, for example, the average cost of LASIK eye surgery is $2,088 per eye. Ragusa, however, told INSIDER that she received LASIK in South Korea and paid a total of $1,400 — including all of the check-ups before and after the surgery, the surgery itself on both eyes, the medicine, and all future care for life.

例如，在美国，视力激光手术的平均成本为每只眼睛2088美元。然而，Ragusa告诉INSIDER，她在韩国做的激光手术只花了1400美元，其中包括手术前后的所有检查，双眼手术，药物以及终生护理费用。

Via thisisinsider.com

另外，还有些患慢性疾病、需要进行长期治疗的美国人也会选择去国外看病，甚至还有人因为国内生孩子费用太高，为了省钱去国外生孩子。

各国平均生育费用(红色为顺产费用，橘色为剖腹产费用)

在美国生孩子比在其他国家花费更高 (图 Via the Guardian)

实际上，不止美国人，其他国家的人也在选择出国看病，比如说英国人。虽然英国人有National Health Service（英国国家健康体系）这样的公费医疗体系保障，但是排队的时间也不算短，而且据报道，NHS系统下，也存在牙科医生数量不足这类问题，整容这类的手术不在免费医疗范围内。

Medigo, a German-based medical travel company says that queries from UK residentsjumped 53%last year. Official figures from the UK's Office of National Statistics also show that a rising number of people are going abroad for treatment.

一家德国的医疗旅游公司Medigo表示，来自英国居民的咨询量去年暴涨53%。英国国家统计局的官方数据也显示，越来越多的人出国接受治疗。

Via BBC

一位叫Amanda Wells的英国人就去波兰做了一场手术：

The 46-year-old travelled to Poland last year to have a painful bunion removed from her left foot, because she didn't want towait the nine monthsthat her GP estimated it would take her to get the operation on the NHS.

46岁的Amanda Wells去年去波兰做了手术，治疗左脚的拇趾囊肿，因为她的医生估计她需要等九个月才能上公费医疗的手术台，她不想再等了。

She says she was able to get the work done in Poland for ￡3,000, half the amount she was quoted by a private surgeon in the UK.

她说她在波兰做手术的花了3000英镑，但是在英国，这只是一位私人外科医生手术费用的一半。

Via BBC

Amanda Wells (图Via BBC)

这就推动了医疗旅游业的发展。

Patients Beyond Borders, a publisher of guidebooks for "medical tourists" estimates that more than 20 million people will travel to another country for medical treatment this year,up 25% from 16 million last year.

据一家做“医疗游客”指南的出版商Patients Beyond Borders估计，今年，有2000万人会去其他国家看病，相比去年的160万上涨25%。

Meanwhile, a 2017 report by payments giant Visa estimated that the medical tourism industry was worth more than $100bn a year, and continuing to grow in value by quarter every year.

同时，支付巨头Visa2017年的一份调查估计，每年，医疗旅游产业产值超过1000亿美元，

Via BBC

不过，也有专家提醒出国看病的人注意，回国之后可能会发生感染，或者涉及一些后续治疗，也可能是一笔很大的费用。就算在国内有保险，保险也不一定会进行赔付，反而会花更多钱。

你怎么看待出国看病？欢迎在评论里留言。

文：BBC, The Guardian, thisisinsider.com

整合：Sasa

图：BBC, The Guardian, thisisinsider.com, Getty Images, VCG, 网络

每日新闻播报June 26

Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman during a meeting with UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres at the United Nations in New York on March 27, 2018. [Photo/Agencies]

>Saudi's residency scheme 沙特146万出售永居权

Saudi Arabia has opened applications for a permanent residency program designed to attract foreign investment to the kingdom, but it will cost a hefty 800,000 riyals. 日前，沙特阿拉伯开放旨在吸引外国投资的永久居住权申请计划，不过申请费用高达80万里亚尔(约合人民币146.8万元)。

There's also a cheaper option, with a one-year renewable residency costing 100,000 riyals. 除此之外还有一个便宜点的选择，即申请者可申请一年的可续签居住权，申请费用为10万里亚尔(约合人民币18.35万元)。

The so-called premium residencies will allow foreigners to buy property and do business without a Saudi sponsor, switch jobs and exit the kingdom easily and sponsor visas for family members. 这种所谓的永居权能让外国人在沙特买房、在没有本地人担保的情况下做生意、换工作、轻松出境，并为家人提供签证担保。

Along with paying a high fee, applicants must be at least 21 years old, prove financial solvency and have a clean criminal record and bill of health. 除了支付高额费用外，申请者还须年满21岁，具有偿付能力，无犯罪记录并有健康证明。

The idea for a long-term Saudi residency program was first floated in 2016 by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, as a part of his plan to reduce the economy's reliance on oil and boost foreign direct investment. 2016年，沙特王储穆罕默德?本?萨勒曼首次提出了售卖沙特长期居留权的想法，这是他减少沙特经济对石油的依赖、促进外国直接投资计划的一部分。

At the time, he estimated the program would generate about $10 billion in annual revenue by 2020. 当时他估计，到2020年，该计划将产生约100亿美元的年收入。

Visitors take photos of Van Gogh's paintings projected on screens at Van Gogh The Immersive Experience, an ongoing exhibition at the National Museum of China. [Photo by Jiang Dong/China Daily]

>Digitalized Van Gogh works 国博办'梵高沉浸体验展'

The artworks of painter Vincent van Gogh are vividly brought to life at an immersive digital exhibition in Beijing. 北京正在举办梵高艺术沉浸式数字展，生动呈现大师作品的风采。

The easily recognizable elements from van Gogh's paintings have been digitalized, animated and projected onto the ceiling, walls and floor of an exhibition space that draws the audience into an immersive look at the life and inner world of the Dutch artist. 梵高画作中为人熟知的经典元素经数字化和动画处理后，被投射到展厅的天花板、墙壁以及地板上，吸引观众走进这位荷兰天才艺术家的生平以及内心世界。

"Van Gogh: The Immersive Experience" at the National Museum of China will run through Sept 22. 中国国家博物馆举办的"梵高艺术沉浸式体验展"将持续至9月22日。

Technicians have brought to life the work of the gifted artist through an all-encompassing projection display of images taken from more than 200 paintings and drawings from the artist's oeuvre. 技术人员通过360度全景投射技术，使梵高毕生200多幅画作的图像一一浮现在观众面前。

President of the International Olympic Committee Thomas Bach announces Milan-Cortina d'Ampezzo of Italy to host the 2026 Olympic Winter Games during the 134th session of International Olympic Committee in Lausanne, Switzerland, on June 24, 2019. [Photo/Xinhua]

>Italy to host Winter Games 2026冬奥会花落意大利

Italian cities Milan/Cortina were elected host of the 2026 Winter Olympic Games at the 134th session of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) on Monday. 24日在国际奥委会第134届全会上，意大利城市米兰/科尔蒂纳丹佩佐被选为2026年冬季奥运会的主办城市。

IOC President Thomas Bach announced Milan/Cortina as the winner after they beat Sweden's Stockhom/Are 47-34 in a vote by 83 IOC members. 国际奥委会主席巴赫宣布，在83名奥委会委员进行的投票中，米兰/科尔蒂纳丹佩佐以47票对34票击败瑞典的斯德哥尔摩/奥勒胜出。

It will be the third time for Italy to host the Winter Olympic Games. Cortina was the first Italian city to host the Games in 1956 and Turin staged the event in 2006. Italian Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte promised full support from his government to the northern Italian cities. 米兰和科尔蒂纳丹佩佐位于意大利北部。这将是意大利第三次主办冬奥会。1956年，科尔蒂纳丹佩佐是第一个主办冬奥会的意大利城市，2006年都灵也曾主办过这一体育盛会。意大利总理孔特承诺，其政府将全力支持米兰和科尔蒂纳丹佩佐。

A man wearing an umbrella-like hat visits the Summer Palace in Beijing, May 22. [Photo/IC]

>High-heat subsidies raised 9省市上调高温津贴标准

Scorching heat across China has made high-temperature subsidies a hot topic among employees. 暑热席卷全国使高温津贴成为员工讨论的热门话题。

Among 28 provinces, municipalities and autonomous regions that have implemented high -temperature subsidies, nine of them - including Zhejiang, Shanghai, Anhui, Jiangxi, Tianjin and Hebei - have raised their standards for high-temperature subsidies this summer. 在28个发放高温津贴的省市自治区中，浙江、上海、安徽、江西、天津、河北等9省市今夏均上调了其高温津贴标准。

After the adjustment, employees in Shanghai, Jiangsu and Zhejiang will get a monthly subsidy of 300 yuan, the highest amount in the nation. 经过调整，上海、江苏、浙江三地员工每月可获得300元的津贴，金额为全国最高。

In some other regions, the standard for high-temperature subsidies is set by the day. 在其他部分地区，高温津贴标准按天计发。

Anhui has raised its subsidy standard from 10 yuan per day to 15 yuan, while Sichuan adjusted the local standard from 8 to 12 yuan per day to 10-18 yuan. 安徽将当地津贴标准由10元/天上调至15元/天，四川则由每天8-12元上调至每天10-18元。

Hebei is the only region that sets an hourly high-temperature subsidy standard. 河北是唯一一个高温津贴标准按小时计发的地区。

It has raised the local standard to 2 yuan per hour for outdoor workers and 1.5 yuan per hour for indoor workers, up from the previous 1.5 yuan and 1 yuan, respectively. 河北将当地室外和室内作业员工的津贴标准从此前的每小时1.5元和1元分别上调至2元/小时和1.5元/小时。

Find more audio news on the China Daily app.

来源：chinadaily.com.cn

曹德旺美国工厂再调查上

Will China Save the American Economy？（Part 1）

MORAINE， Ohio—For years，DonjianXu and her husband operated a sleepy Chinese restaurant in this industrial suburb of Dayton， cooking up American-style Chinese food like sweet-and-sour chicken and beef with broccoli for customers who would stop in on their lunch break.

莫雷纳，俄亥俄州。多年来，徐冬见（音译）和她的丈夫在代顿市郊外的工业区经营着一家生意冷清的中餐馆。他们为午餐时间用餐的客人提供美式中餐，例如甜酸鸡和花椰菜牛肉。

Then， three years ago， a new crowd started coming into Dragon China: Chinese natives who missed home and were craving something different than the hamburgers and pasta that everybody seemed to eat in Ohio. The Chinese， mostly businessmen， would come in and order things not on the menu—noodle soup with vegetables and fish balls， for example. Sometimes， CaoDewang， afamousself-made billionaire from China， would come in and sit at the corner table with his deputies， and “that’s when we [would] need to make something really special，” Xu told me.

就在三年前，一群新客人涌进这家名为“中国龙”的饭店。这些思乡的中国人，渴望吃到与俄亥俄州普通人吃的汉堡和意大利面不一样的食物。中国人大多经商，他们走进餐馆，点菜单上没有的菜品，比方说“蔬菜鱼丸清汤面”。有时，在中国白手起家的著名亿万富豪曹德旺也会来，和他的副手们坐在角落的一张桌子旁。“那就真轮到我们做些‘特别的’东西了。”徐冬见告诉我。

Dewangvisits this Ohio town because it’s the home of the American factory he built for his Chinese company，FuyaoGlass. He spent $700 million in 2014 to rehabilitate a shuttered General Motors plant， whereFuyaonow makes automotive glass that it sells to U.S. automakers.Fuyaoemploys 2，000， the majority of whom are Americans. “This place could be the next General Motors if it’s done right，” an employee named Larry Yates， who worked at the GM plant for 25 years， told me. “I want to see them do well and succeed.” Hundreds of Chinese executives work here， too， and， having brought their families from China， are buying homes and cars and enrolling their children in local schools.

曹德旺来到这座俄亥俄镇子，原因是他的中国公司福耀玻璃在这里兴建了一家美国工厂。2014年，他耗资7亿美元重整了一家已经关张的通用汽车厂。现在，福耀玻璃在工厂生产汽车玻璃，销售给美国汽车制造商。福耀雇佣了2000名员工，多数是美国人。“如果做的好，这里会成为下一个通用汽车，”在通用工厂工作了25年的员工拉里·耶茨告诉我，“我希望他们能获得成功。”在代顿市，还有成百上千的中国经理人工作，他们拖家带口，在这里买房、买车，送孩子去当地学校读书。

Chinese investors are investing heavily in the United States. In 2016， Chinese businesses spent $46 billion on foreign direct investment in the United States， a threefold increase from the $15 billion they spent in 2015， according to the Rhodium Group， a research firm that analyzes global investment trends. Chinese-owned firms now suPPort more than 140，000 jobs nationwide， nine times as many as in 2009.

中国投资者在美国有大量投资。国际投资趋势研究机构荣鼎集团指出，2016年，中国企业在美国的海外直接投资额达460亿美元，较2015年的150亿，增加了两倍。中国企业在全美支撑了超过14万就业岗位，较2009年增长了八倍。

President Trump has made reversing or resisting globalization a cornerstone of his economic policies and ideology， issuing executive orders directing the executive branch tohire and buy American， pulling out of trade deals such as the Trans Pacific Partnership， and promising to renegotiate NAFTA. But much of the economic activity being generated around the country comes because of globalization， not in spite of it. Globalization helped bolster economies around the world， including China’s， and is now allowing a class of wealthy people and companies from those economies to invest in the United States， creating jobs in depressed regions like Ohio.

特朗普总统将逆转或抵制全球化的理念视为其经济政策和意识形态基石，他发布行政令要求行政部门雇美国人，买美国货，退出包括跨太平洋伙伴关系协议在内的贸易协定，并承诺重订北美自由贸易协定。但全球化促进而非阻碍了美国境内大部分经济活动。全球化增进了包括中国在内的世界各大经济体的繁荣，并让这些经济体中富人和公司赴美投资，为俄亥俄州等经济萧条的地区创造工作机会。

Foreign companies are responsible for many of the jobs in states like Ohio today—they employ 18.5 percent of manufacturing workers in the U.S.， according to the Brookings Institution. Other foreign companies creating jobs in Ohio include the Danish firmXelliaPharmaceuticals and the German auto-parts supplierBorgers. “People typically think of trade or globalization as a one-waystreet in which they're on the losing end—if you listen to the president talk about this， you would come away thinking that we've only lost in this equation，” JosephParilla， a fellow at the Brookings Institution， told me. “Nobody has talked about the infusion of capital that comes from foreign companies that are supporting a ton of jobs in the U.S.”

布鲁金斯学会指出，在俄亥俄州等地的大量岗位都归功于外国企业，它们在美国雇佣了18.5%的制造业工人。其他在俄亥俄创造就业的外国公司包括丹麦雅莱药业公司和德国汽车零部件制造商伯格斯。“人们通常认为贸易或全球化是一条单行道，他们总处在失利的一端。如果你听总统谈这件事，你会觉得我们只赔不赚，”布鲁金斯学会研究员约瑟夫·帕里拉对我说，“没人提过外国公司注入美国的资本支撑了大量美国就业。”

But the increased investment comes with some growing pains. Chinese executives told me it’s hard to get American factories to become as efficient as Chinese ones， partly because Americans work fewer hours than Chinese workers do—on average， the Chinese work2，200 hoursa year， compared to 1，790 for the United States. They also say there are not enough qualified workers in manufacturing in Ohio， and that workers are unreliable.

但投资增加，痛苦也随之而来。中国经理人告诉我，美国工厂的效率难与中国工厂相比，部分原因是美国工人的工作时长比中国工人短。中国工人年平均工作2200小时，而美国工人只有1790个小时。他们还说俄亥俄州胜任的制造业工人不足，即使有，也不可靠。

Workers have their own complaints， asThe New York Timesreported recently. Workers say that Chinese companies operating in the U.S. don’t adhere to American labor standards and working hours. The workers complain about poor treatment， and one worker recentlysuedFuyaoon behalf of herself and others， alleging that the companydidn’t pay them overtime.

《纽约时报》近期报道，工人亦有自己的抱怨。工人们认为在美国建厂的中国企业不遵守美国劳工标准和法定工作时间。工人们抱怨待遇差，一名工人最近代表自己和工友起诉福耀玻璃，指控其未支付加班费。

Another man alleges thatFuyaoexposed him to chemicals that gave him blisters and made it difficult to breathe. The workers also say thatFuyaoisn’t investing in training them， which is leading to low productivity at the factory.Fuyaodisagreed with the criticisms， telling me that the Occupational Safety and Health Administration （OSHA） had investigated the claim of chemical use and found no violations， and that its policies on overtime and paid leave are straightforward.

还有一名工人指控福耀让他暴露在化学品中，他起了水疱，呼吸困难。工人还称福耀没有投资培训他们，这才导致工厂生产率低下。福耀否认这一批评，公司方面对我说，美国职业安全和卫生署对化学品使用投诉进行了调查，结果未发现违规情况，且公司的加班和带薪休假政策一目了然。

Dayton—and Ohio—needs plants likeFuyaoto succeed. New-business creationis falteringin America， with the number of new start-ups at 40-year lows. Foreign investment could be a key to creating new jobs for Americans. The question is whether foreign companies will continue to find America worth their investment.

代顿市以及俄亥俄州希望福耀这样的企业获得成功。美国新创立企业正在减少，初创企业数量四十年来最少。外国投资是新增就业岗位的关键。问题在于今后外国公司认为在美国投资还有没有价值。

In the cavernous white lobby of theFuyaofactory on a recent morning， a handful of people in suits sat under a Chinese flag， filling out job applications. They were seeking open positions atFuyao， which had just announced that it was raising its hourly wage by $2 in order to attract new workers and decrease turnover. That drew in people like William Oliver， 31， who has an associate’s degree and was applying for a position on third shift （11 p.m. to 7 a.m.） so he could work atFuyaowhile he attended school. Once he heard about the raise， he told me， “I knew I had to come down here.”

一天早晨，在福耀工厂宽阔排场的白色大堂中，一些身着正装的求职者坐在中国国旗下填写就业申请书。他们在福职，公司刚刚宣布工人时薪提高2美元，以吸引新员工，降低人员流动。此举吸引了31岁的威廉·奥利弗，他正在攻读副学士学位，想找个能上夜班的岗位（晚上11点至早上7点），这样就能在工作的同时保证学业。他告诉我，一听说提了薪，“我就知道我肯定要来。”

Not long ago， companies were decamping for overseas locations like China and Mexico， where they could save millions in labor costs. In 2004， factory workers in China made $4.35 an hour， compared to $17.54 that the average factory worker made in the U.S.，according to theBoston Consulting Group.

不久前，（美国）公司还在忙着拔营前往海外建厂，比方说中国或墨西哥，以节省大笔人工成本。据波士顿咨询公司数据显示，2004年，中国工人时薪4.35美元，美国工人时薪平均17.54美元。

But labor expenses are rising in China. According to theChinese Business Climate Survey， put out by the American Chamber of Commerce in China and the consulting firm Bain &；； Company， businesses there cite rising labor costs as their top problem. That’s in part because worker organizations are gaining strength， and strikes and labor disputes are becoming more common. Today， Chinese manufacturing wages adjusted for productivity are $12.47 an hour， compared to $22.32 in the United States， according to the Boston Consulting Group.

可近年来，中国劳工成本不断增长。中国美国商会和贝恩咨询公司共同发布的《中国商业环境调查》显示，在中国建厂的企业将不断增加的劳工成本视作头号问题，部分原因是工人组织力量壮大起来，罢工和劳工纠纷频发。波士顿咨询集团数据显示，经过生产率调整的中国工人平均工资，如今每小时12.47美元，而美国工人时薪为22.32美元。

Wages aren’t the only costs in China that are rising. The price of electricity has increased 15 percent since 2010， and industrial land is becoming more expensive too. Taxes are high as well:Dewang， the head ofFuyaoGlass， saidin an interviewlate last year that he had moved his plant to the U.S. because China had the“world’s highest taxes.”（Actually， income taxes are higher in many Scandinavian countries than in China， and the corporate income-tax rate in China is25 percent， which is lower than in the U.S.）“Apart from labor costs， everything else is cheaper in the U.S. than in China，”hehas said.

在中国，上涨的不只是工资。从2010年以来，电费增长了15%，工业用地越来越贵。税收也很高：福耀玻璃董事长曹德旺去年底接受采访时说，把工厂从中国搬到美国，因为中国有“全世界最高的税收”（实际上，许多北欧国家的收入所得税都比中国高，且中国的企业所得税率为25%，比美国还低）。“除劳工成本以外，美国什么都比中国便宜。”他说。

These factors alone would be enough reason to give companies pause about locating factories in China. But there are other reasons Chinese businessmen are looking outside of their own country for investment opportunities. There are so many cash-flush investors in China that there are fewer good opportunities to buy companies， and so people with money have fewer places to put it， saidEswarPrasad， a professor of trade policy at Cornell. Such investors might have once put their money into U.S. securities， but the rate of return is low， so they’re turning their attention to buying foreign companies instead. （Most Chinese investment abroad comes in the form of outright purchases of other companies； theFuyaofactory stands out in that the company decided to build its own products there， rather than acquire an existing business.）

仅这些因素就足够让企业停止在中国建厂，但中国商人在国外寻找投资机会还另有原因。康奈尔大学贸易政策教授埃斯瓦尔·普拉萨德说，由于中国有许多现金充裕的投资者，但购买公司的好机会变少了，有钱没处花。这些投资者曾投资美国国债，但回报率低，于是他们的注意力转向购买外国企业。（大部分海外的中国投资者都直接购买海外公司，福耀则与众不同，它决定白手起家，而非并购既有企业。）

Many investors also want to diversify their portfolio by investing in companies outside of China， said Daniel Rosen， a founding partner at the Rhodium Group. And investors are worried about a weaker Chinese currency in the future， so they are making big bets while their money still goes relatively far. It’s not just in the U.S.: Chinese outbound foreign direct investment reached $200 billion in 2016， with deals in Europe， Africa， and South America as well. In total， the Rhodium Group calculates that China invested $46 billion in the U.S. in 2016， almost three times as much as the U.S. invested in China that year.

荣鼎集团联合创始人丹尼尔·罗森表示，许多投资者希望通过海外投资，让投资组合多元化。投资者还担心人民币在未来走贬，因此他们进行海外投资。不仅在美国：2016年，包括在欧、非、南美洲的投资，中国对外直接投资额达2000亿美元。荣鼎集团指出，中国2016年在美投资供460亿美元，接近同期美国在华投资的三倍。

“The U.S. is seeing the same pattern of increasing Chinese investment that is taking place worldwide，” Rosen told me. Often， investors buy existing companies overseas simply as an investment—96 percent of Chinese investments in the U.S. in 2016 were in acquisitions， according to the Rhodium Group. The Chinese manufacturer HaierboughtGeneral Electric’s appliance division last year， for instance， and a consortium of Chinese investorsboughtthe printer company Lexmark. Plants likeFuyaoare different. They are what Rhodium calls“greenfield”investments， which means the company builds a new plant from the ground up and hires new people. These have represented a small share of Chinese investments in advanced economies like the United States， but are “likely to continue rising significantly in the year ahead，” Rosen said.

罗森告诉我说：“中国对美投资增加，这一模式在全球其他地方也如出一辙。”投资者经常把在海外收购既有企业视作投资。荣鼎集团调查显示，96%的中国在美投资都是收购。例如，中国制造商海尔去年买下了通用电气公司的家电部门，中国一财团收购了打印机制造商利盟。像福耀这样的工厂是个例外，他们被荣鼎集团称为“开荒”投资，因为他们在海外建新厂，雇佣新员工。这是中国对美国等发达经济体投资的一小部分，但罗森认为“将在近年中大幅增长”。

Withgreenfieldinvestments， Chinese companies often bring their own executives to come in and run operations. I met one such person， a 35-year-old named Wei Liu， at the Dragon China restaurant on a recent weekday， where he had stopped for a quick lunch. Liu had brought his wife and daughter to Dayton， a town he’d never heard of， to improve his career prospects， he told me. “If I work here， I will have more chances，” he said， as he waited for his food. He likes living in America， though he says Dayton isn’t as diverse as other American cities he’s been to， and he doesn’t love the winters.

在开荒投资中，中国公司常让自己的经理人到美国负责运营。最近某个工作日，我见到了35岁的刘伟，他正在中国龙餐馆吃午餐。他以前从没听说过代顿市，为了职业发展，他携妻子和女儿来到这里。“在这里工作，我会有更多机会。”他等餐时告诉我说。虽然他觉得代顿不像他去过的其他美国城市那样多姿多彩，还不喜欢这里的冬天，但表示自己喜欢住在美国。

Fuyaomade a greenfield investment in Ohio because it wanted to be closer to its customers， which are auto companies building cars in the United States， Jeff Liu， the president ofFuyaoGlass America， told me. The U.S. auto market is currently booming， setting anew recordfor sales last year， andFuyaowants to become a bigger part of the distribution chain. Shipping glass from China was expensive and dicey， as the product would sometimes break， which in turn made the process more costly， he said.

福耀玻璃美国总裁刘道川告诉我，福耀选择在俄亥俄进行绿地投资，因为这里距离顾客美国的汽车生产商更近。近年来，美国的汽车市场在复兴，去年创下了新销售记录，福耀想在分销链上占据更大份额。从中国运玻璃到美国价格昂贵，风险也高，玻璃制品会碎，因此整个过程花费更多。

Fuyaospent around$700 millionto get the plant up and running， bringing hundreds of Chinese workers to Dayton to set up the plant and supervise new hires. Now， it’s turning its attention to hiring more Americans， and to becoming a “truly American company，” Liu told me. “We want to be the best employer in this town，” he said.

福耀美国工厂的建造和运营上耗费近7亿美元，中国数百名员工来建厂并负责招聘。现在，工厂雇佣越来越多的美国人，努力成为一个“真正的美国公司”。刘道川对我说：“我们想成为代顿市最好的雇主。”

To be the best employer in town， though，Fuyaoneeds to be able to stay open， and so far， the factory isn’t making money.Fuyaohas been working on its factory since 2014， but it still isn’t running at full capacity.FuyaoGlass America posted a $41 million loss in 2016， the company said in its annual report.

可要成为市里最好的雇主，福耀必须生存下去。到目前为止，工厂还没赚到钱。2014年以来，福耀开始运营工厂，但始终未能开足马力。福耀玻璃美国公司2016年年报显示，当年亏损4100万美元。

Some of the losses were because the company had to spend so much money on equipment to get the plant running， Liu told me. But productivity per worker in Moraine is 10 to 15 percent lower than it is in China， he said， adding “We have a big gap to catch up to China， but we’ll get there.”

刘道川对我说，亏损的部分原因是公司购置了建厂所需的设备。但莫雷纳工人的生产力比中国工人低10%到15%。 “赶上中国，还有很大差距，但我们会成功的。”

Chinese companies also struggle to operate in an environment where there are a network of safety regulations that do not exist to the same extent in China. “It’s an example of the challenges of working on a more advanced economy where workers have much broader protections and safety standards and rights than is normal back in China，” says Rosen， of the Rhodium Group.

在美中国公司的运营环境更为困难，美国有一套比中国标准更高的安全生产规定。“这是在发达经济体要面临的挑战之一，”荣鼎集团的罗森说，“与中国相比，这里的工人享受着更多、更广的保护措施、安全标准和权利。”

The company says it can’t find enough skilled people to fill open positions， Liu said， even when it raised the wages by $2 an hour. Most workers aren’t trained in automotive glass in the Dayton area， and many aren’t accustomed to working in the heat of the factory. Turnover has been high at theFuyaoplant so far， with workers quitting， and managers complain that American workers often show up late and take too much time off.

刘道川表示，即使时薪提高2美元，福耀仍无法招足技术人才以填补空缺。代顿市大部分工人都没有受过汽车玻璃制造训练，很多人不习惯在工厂的高温中工作。工人纷纷辞职，管理层也常抱怨美国工人总是迟到、请假，因此福耀工厂的人员流动率至今居高不下。

未完待续

中国实现增长预期靠啥？

China is not always synonymous with the concept of innovation. The country is instead more commonly seen as one that piggybacks on the ideas of others, using its vast labour force to mass produce the same goods more cheaply.

中国并非总是创新的同义词。相反，中国更经常地被视为一个“山寨大国”，即蹭其它国家的创意、用自己的庞大劳动力以更低成本生产相同产品的国家。

However, a report published on Wednesday by the McKinsey Global Institute claims innovation will need to account for as much as half of China’s economic growth if Beijing is to hit consensus growth forecasts of 5.5 to 6.5 per cent a year in the coming decade.

然而，麦肯锡全球研究所(MGI)周三发布的一份报告声称，如果未来十年中国想实现5.5%至6.5%的普遍增长率预测值，那么创新对中国经济增长的贡献率需要达到一半。

“If we don’t see innovation on the scale that we are advocating, we would call the growth forecasts into question,” says Jonathan Woetzel, a Shanghai-based director of the institute. “[If we do], the resulting ‘China effect’ on innovation has the potential to disrupt markets and industries and could reshape global competition.”

“如果创新达不到我们主张的规模，那么我们将对上述增长率预测打个问号，”MGI驻上海的主管华强森(Jonathan Woetzel)说，“（如果达到了），随之对创新产生的‘中国效应’有潜力颠覆各个市场和行业，并可能重塑全球竞争格局。”

MGI points out that the traditional drivers of China’s economic growth are weakening. Because of its ageing population, China’s labour force could peak as early as next year and fall 16 per cent by 2050, it predicts.

MGI指出，中国经济增长的几个传统引擎都在失去动力。MGI预测，由于人口老龄化，中国的劳动力可能最早在明年见顶，到2050年减少16%。

Moreover, with the easy yards already made, MGI says it now takes 60 per cent more capital to produce one unit of gross domestic product than it typically did between 1990 and 2010.

此外，由于容易摘取的果实已经摘取，麦肯锡全球研究所表示，如今单位国内生产总值(GDP)所用的资本较1990年至2010年期间的一般水平高了60%。

As the first chart shows, $5.4 of capital are now needed to produce $1 of Chinese GDP, up from $3.4 between 1990 and 2010. MGI forecasts this will rise to $7.6 by the second half of the next decade, closer to current norms elsewhere in the world.

如第一张图表（见下）所示，目前生产1美元GDP所需资本为5.4美元，高于1990年至2010年期间的3.4美元。MGI预测，到下个十年的后五年，这个数字将升高至7.6美元，向世界其他地区当前的普遍水平靠拢。

Investment is also likely to be constrained by China’s rising debt load that, at 282 per cent of GDP, according to MGI, is higher than in the likes of the US and Germany.

投资也可能受到中国日益升高的债务负担的拖累。MGI数据显示，目前中国债务对GDP的比例为282%，高于美国和德国等国家的比例。

With growth in energy supply also likely to slow, MGI forecasts that GDP growth arising from an increased supply of the factors of production (labour, fixed capital and energy) will be only 3.4 per cent a year in the decade to 2025, down from 6.2 per cent between 2000 and 2010 and 5.6 per cent from 2010 to 2014.

考虑到能源供应的增长也可能会放慢，MGI预测，截至2025年的十年里，增加生产要素（劳动力、固定资本和能源）投入对中国GDP增长率的贡献将仅为3.4个百分点，低于2000年至2010年的6.2个百分点和2010年至2014年的5.6个百分点。

To a large extent this is built into GDP forecasts, with expected growth of about 6 per cent in the next decade well below the 10.5 per cent rate achieved between 2000 and 2010 and the 8 per cent level seen from 2010 to 2014.

GDP预测在很大程度上已经将这个因素考虑了进去：未来十年中国增长率预测值为约6%，远低于2000年至2010年期间的10.5%、以及2010年至2014年期间的8%。

But multifactorial productivity growth, squeezing more output out of each unit of input — which MGI is loosely defining as innovation — would still need to account for 35 to 50 per cent of future economic growth for China to meet expectations, up from 30 per cent at present.

但多要素生产率增长（即从单位投入里获得更多产出，这也是MGI对创新的宽泛定义）对未来经济增长的贡献率仍需从现在的30%提高到35%至50%，中国才能实现预期增速。

Using this definition of innovation, Mr Woetzel argues that China “has not only made more progress than it is given credit for, but it has also created new approaches to innovation that are faster, cheaper and can work on a global scale”.

使用对创新的这一定义，华强森提出，中国“不但取得了比外界承认的更快的进展，而且创造出了速度更快、成本更低且在全球范围内适用的新的创新途径”。

Yet this progress has been patchy. MGI divides industries into four types of innovation. It argues China has made most progress in what it terms “efficiency-driven” innovation, sectors where improvements in production processes, product design and supply-chain management are central, lowering costs and accelerating time to market.

不过，这一进步是分布不均的。MGI把各行业按照创新的类型分为四类。MGI认为，中国在属于其所称的“效率驱动型”创新的那一类行业中取得的进展最大，在这类行业里，生产流程、产品设计和供应链管理的改进发挥核心作用，其结果是成本降低、产品进入市场的时间缩短。

In nine of the 12 efficiency-driven industries MGI analysed, such as solar panels, generic pharmaceuticals and steel, China’s share of global revenues is greater that its share of global GDP, at some 12 per cent as of 2013.

在MGI分析的12个效率驱动型行业中的9个行业，比如太阳能板、仿制药和钢铁，中国占全球收入的份额都高于2013年中国占全球GDP约12%的份额。

Its success stories include Broad Construction, which assembled a 57-storey hotel in Changsha in just 19 days from prefabricated components, and Everstar, which allows consumers to customise clothing and receive the finished goods within 72 hours.

中国在这一类行业的成功典范包括远大可建(Broad Construction)和爱斯达(Everstar)。前者使用预制模块化材料，仅用19天便在长沙盖起了一栋57层的高楼，后者提供定制服饰，顾客可在72小时内收到成品。

The country has also made headway in “customer-focused” industries, defined as ones where innovation involves “identifying and addressing customer needs to develop new products”.

中国也在“以客户为中心的”行业里取得了进展，入选这一类别的行业需要满足的条件是，行业内的创新涉及“找出并应对客户需求，从而开发出新产品”。

Here China has an outsized share of three of MGI’s seven sectors: household appliances, internet software and services, and internet retailing.

在这个类别里，中国在MGI所考察的7个行业的其中3个——家用电器、互联网软件和服务、以及网上零售——占据的份额超过中国占全球GDP的份额。

It remains weak in some sectors, such as smartphones, but this may be changing. MGI gives the example of smartphone maker Xiaomi, which has 1m “fans” who vote online for new features that then appear in weekly software updates.

在智能手机等另外一些行业，中国的表现还不突出，但是情况或许正在改变。MGI给出了智能手机制造商小米(Xiaomi)的例子，后者拥有100万“粉丝”。这些粉丝在网上对一些新功能进行投票，入选的功能随后就会出现在每周的软件更新中。

However, McKinsey points to significant weaknesses in two other arenas. In engineering-based industries, where companies innovate by solving engineering problems, it found Chinese companies generated 41 per cent of global railway equipment revenues and 20 per cent of those for wind power but a disproportionately small share of revenue in areas such as autos and commercial aviation.

然而，麦肯锡指出，中国在其他两类行业的表现明显较差。在基于制造的行业（在这些行业，企业是通过解决工程问题来创新）中，麦肯锡发现，中国企业占据全球铁路设备收入的41%，占据风力发电设备收入的20%，但是在汽车和商用航空等行业占据的收入份额小得不成比例。

The picture is worse still for science-based industries, where innovation involves making discoveries and turning them into products. In each of the four sectors here, such as branded pharmaceuticals and biotechnology, China is a weakling.

在以科学为基础的行业，情况更糟，这里的创新包括探索新发现并将之转化为产品。在专利药和生物科技等4个行业中，中国的表现无一例外都很弱。

Overall, MGI says China’s service industries are only 15 to 30 per cent as productive as the average across the (mostly advanced) OECD nations. Internet-based innovations to expand services, improve quality and make service delivery more efficient could create value of $550bn to $1.4tn a year by 2015, the institute says.

总而言之，MGI称，中国的服务业行业的生产率仅相当于经合组织(OECD)国家（大多为发达国家）平均水平的15%-30%。该机构称，到2015年，通过扩大服务范围、提高服务品质和服务提供效率，基于互联网的创新每年可创造5500亿美元至1.4万亿美元的价值。

In manufacturing, China’s advantage of low labour costs has started to erode. However, MGI says its still relatively cheap labour and “superior ecosystem” give it “compelling” advantages in “next-generation” manufacturing, encapsulating advances such as the embedding of internet-of-things sensors in all products, advanced robotics and 3D printing.

在制造业，中国劳动力成本低廉的优势已经开始消失。然而，MGI称，中国仍然相对低廉的劳动力成本及“优越的行业生态环境”使之在“新一代”制造业——比如在所有产品中嵌入物联网传感器、高级机器人以及3D打印等先进制造业——占据“绝对”优势。

The could create value of $450bn to $780bn a year by 2025, making a total of $1tn to $2.2tn a year, although this still falls short of the $3tn to $5tn a year McKinsey calculates China will have to generate from innovation to meet consensus growth forecasts.

到2025年，这每年可以创造4500亿至7800亿美元的价值，再加上基于互联网的创新每年可以创造的价值，总值可达到每年1万亿至2.2万亿美元，不过这仍未达到3万亿至5万亿美元的目标值——据麦肯锡估计，中国要达到普遍增长率预测值，每年从创新中创造的价值必须达到这个范围。

It says Beijing can do more to help by expanding access to capital for small and medium-sized enterprises and entrepreneurs, enhancing the quality of regional innovation clusters, improving protection of intellectual property and upgrading the allocation of funding for scientific research.

麦肯锡称，中国可以通过为中小型企业和创业者扩大融资渠道、提升地区创新集群的质量、加强知识产权保护、以及增加科研经费拨款来推动这一目标的实现。

“China has the potential to evolve from an ‘innovation sponge’, absorbing and adapting existing technology and knowledge from around the world, into a global innovation leader,” says Mr Woetzel.

“中国有潜力从只吸收和修改世界各地现有技术和知识的‘创新海绵’，转变为全球创新领头羊，”华强森表示。

“Our analysis suggests that this transformation is possible, though far from inevitable.”

“我们的分析表明，这种转型尽管远非板上钉钉，但却是可能实现的。”

地狱笑话 1、2、3、4 合集

（1）

当我看见树上刻着的情侣名字时，我不会觉得这样很可爱或者浪漫什么的。我只会觉得很诡异，到底有多少人在约会时身上还带着刀？

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

我和老公做出了一个艰难的决定：我们不打算要孩子了。有想要孩子的，请留下你的联系方式，我们明天就能把孩子送上门。

My husband and I have come to a difficult decision: we don't want children. If anybody does, please leave your contact information, and we'll drop them off tomorrow.

你们知道有一句谚语叫“一个人的垃圾是另一个人的宝贝”吗？我也不知道为什么，但是被领养的人不喜欢这句话。

Do you know the phrase “One man's trash is another man’s treasure”? I don't know why, but adopted people don't like it.

我喜欢拿孤儿开玩笑。他们能怎么办？告诉他们的父母吗？

I love Telling jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

牧师问电椅上的死刑犯说：“你还有什么最后的请求吗？”“有的，”死刑犯说，“可以请您握着我的手吗？”

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

我有一具完美的胴体，但它在我家的冰柜里。

I’ve got the perfect body, but it’s at home in my freezer.

女儿问我星星(明星)是怎么死的。“通常是吸毒过量，”我跟她说。

My daughter asked me how stars die. “Usually an overdose,” I told her.

一个男人从昏迷中醒来。他的妻子换下身上的黑色衣服，怒道：“真就是什么都指不上你，对不对！”

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

我的Frank叔叔去世的时候，想要把自己的骨灰放在最爱的啤酒杯里再埋进地下。他的遗愿是成为“弗兰肯斯坦”。

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

我希望去世的时候能像祖父那样，在睡梦中安然离世。而不像他车里的乘客那样尖叫不止。

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

我恨双标。烧一具尸体，在火葬场烧就是“满怀敬意的朋友。”在家里烧就成了“破坏证据”。

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

我从家里的花园挖出来了一个满是金币的箱子。我想立马跑回家，把这事儿告诉妻子。然后我想起来为什么要在花园里挖坑了。

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

我有一个关于涓流经济的笑话，但是99%的人永远都听不懂(得不到)。

I have a joke about trickle-down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.

Z世代应该改名叫隔离代。

Gen Z should change their name to quaranteens.

医生：“很快你就能归于平静了。”

男子：“我是要死了吗?”

医生：“不是，但你老婆快了。”

Doctor: “You'll be at peace soon”

Man: “Am I dying?”

Doctor:"No, your wife is"

性别就像双子塔。原来只有两个，但现在成了敏感话题。

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them and now it’s a sensitive subject.

“妈，我书包怎么这么沉？”“真主至高伟大，儿子，安拉胡阿克巴。”

“Mom, why is my backpack so heavy? ”“Allahu Akbar my son. Allahu Akbar.”

（2）

玩儿跳伞其实不用带降落伞。但是想再玩儿一次的话就需要了。

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

一个男人领着一个小男孩走进森林。小男孩抬头对他说：“先生，这里越来越黑了，我好怕。”男人回答说：“那你想过我的感受吗？我还得一个人走回去。”

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

最近，一项新的重大研究发现，人类吃香蕉比猴子还要多。雀食。我已经记不起来自己上次吃猴子是什么时候了。

Turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

随着老去，我想起了这一路来失去的人们。或许当导游不是个正确的选择。

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

我今天做了新冠检测，结果显示50。这是啥意思？还有，我的智商检测结果也出来了，是阳性。

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

老婆和我在餐厅吃饭，服务员开始挑逗我。我老婆就说：“这姑娘肯定得新冠了。”我问：“为什么呢？”老婆说：“因为她一点品味(味觉)都没有。”

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."

今天真是糟糕的一天。我的前任被公交车撞了。而我丢掉了公交车司机的工作！

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!

昨天我把丈母娘给送走了。当狙击手真特么的爽！

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning. Being a sniper is awesome.

孤儿自拍叫什么？全家福。

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie? A family photo.

我很震惊(被电到了)，这吐司机竟然不防水。

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

我有一条会跳霹雳舞的鱼！但只能跳20秒，而且就能跳一回。

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

我和女朋友分手了，于是我就偷走了她的轮椅，猜猜谁爬着回来找我了？

I broke up with my girlfriend so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back.

妈妈快要不行了，而我们却记不清她的血型。在弥留之际，她不停的叮嘱我们“要乐观(B型Rh阳性)”，但她都不在了，我们又怎么可能做得到。

My mom died when we couldn't remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it's hard without her.

为什么孤儿的日历上一年只有363天？他们没有父亲节和母亲节。

Why are there only 363 days in an orphans calendar？ They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

俩黑人在街上走，然后看到一个牌子写着，想要变白吗？只要75块钱。

黑人1：“你觉得这玩意儿管用吗？”

黑人2：“只有试试才知道。”

黑人1：“但我只有50块。”

黑人2：“我有100块，我先去试试管用不，然后把剩下来的钱给你用。”

黑人1：“行啊，就这么整。”

黑人2走了进去，15分钟后走了出来，身上穿着一套崭新的西服，手里提着一个公文包，皮肤白的吓人。

黑人1：“卧槽，还真特么管用啊！快把剩下的25块钱给我。”

黑人2：“去你码的黑鬼，找份工作去吧。”

Two blacks are walking down the street and see a sign that says turn white for $75.

Black1: "Do you think it will work?

Black2: "Only one way to find out."

Black1: "I only have $50."

Black2: "Well, I have $100, I'll go do it then give you my change."

Black1: "Let's do it then."

Black2 goes in and fifteen minutes later comes out white as a ghost, wearing a brand new suit and carrying briefcase.

Black1: "Holy shit, it actually worked! Let me get that $25."

Black2: "Fuck you, nigger. Get a job."

我问威尔士朋友有过多少床伴。他就开始跟我数，但很快就睡着了。

I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but he fell asleep.

《每日邮报》在网上说：“自慰有助于预防感冒”。希望如此，我可一张纸巾都不剩了。

Daily Mail online: "Masturbation may help prevent the common cold." Hope so, I've got no tissues left

在图书馆，一个黑人兄弟问我，彩色(有色)打印机在哪里。

我说：“哥们儿，现在已经是2022年了，随便你想用什么打印机都没问题的。”

A black guy in a library asked me where the coloured printer was.

I replied, "Mate, it's 2022, you can use any printer you want."

一张普通的沙发秒变沙发床只需要简单的一步：忘了你老婆的生日是哪天。

Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife's birthday.

一名牧师犯了心脏病，被紧急送到了医院。他醒来后发现自己正躺在轮床上，两名护士脚步匆忙的推着他在医院中穿梭。

“我这是在天堂吗？”迷糊中的牧师问道。

“不是，”一名护士回答说，“我们只是从儿科病房抄个近道。”

A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital.

He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.

"Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest.

"No" says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward."

（3）

我带祖母去了一家鱼疗馆，这里的小鱼会啄食掉你身上的死皮，而且收费只要45刀。这可比把她葬在墓地里便宜多了。

I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

一个胖乎乎的女人问：“魔镜魔镜告诉我，谁是这世界上最美丽的女人？”魔镜回答说：“请往旁边稍一稍，你挡的我屁都看不见了。”

A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? Mirror: “Kindly move aside. I can't see anything.”

我找到了份图书馆管理员的工作，但只上了半个小时就被开除了。原来关于女权的书籍不该放在科幻/魔幻区啊。

I got a job as a librarian, but it only lasted half an hour. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

我女朋友想要一个童话般的婚姻。没问题。我给了她一块面包，然后把她留在了森林里。

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.

爷爷：你不能在饭桌的5米范围内玩手机。

我：而你不能在小学的30米范围内出现。

Grandpa: you can’t have phones within 15 feet of the table. Me: and you aren’t allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school.

刷一面墙需要几个孩子？这要看你能扔多大劲儿了。

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you can throw.

观察员：我在想，掠过他脑海的最后一样东西会是什么呢？

狙击手：可能是那颗子弹吧。

Spotter: I wonder what was the last thing that went through his mind.

Sniper：Probably that bullet.

-笃笃笃

-谁啊？

-我啊，911。

-啥911？

-你还说你永远都不会遗忘……

Knock Knock. Who’s there? 9/11, 9/11 who? You said you would never forget…

我拨通了伊拉克的自杀热线……接线员很兴奋，问我会不会开卡车。

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq…They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

“妈，孩子们都笑话我，说我的牙太长了。”“快闭嘴，你又把地板给刮花了！”

“Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are too long!” – “Oh shush, now you’ve scratched the whole floor again!”

有一次我和女朋友去徒步，突然之间有一头巨大的棕熊发疯了似的朝我们冲过来。我们肯定是离小熊仔太近了。好在我身上带了一把9毫米的手枪。只是朝着女朋友的膝盖来了一枪，我就可以从容的走开了。

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

-哇偶，亲爱的，我从没想过咱儿子能走这么远！

-我也是啊，这投石机是真给劲儿。快去把咱姑娘也叫过来！

-Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far!

-Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get our daughter!

老婆今天打电话说洗碗机漏了……于是我买了卫生巾带回了家。

My wife called today and said the dishwasher was leaking…I came home with tampons.

为了教孩子什么是民主国家，我让他们投票晚餐吃什么。他们投给了披萨，但我做了塔可饼，因为我们住的地方不是摇摆州。

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don’t live in a swing state.

泰坦尼克号：我点名全部乘客参加冰桶挑战。

Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!”

一个男人走进了图书馆，要找一本如何自杀的书。图书管理员说：“滚边去！你该不还回来了。”

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:“F*ck off! You won’t bring it back.”

你们想怎么骂恋童癖都无所谓。但他们起码会在学校附近放慢车速。

Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.

香蕉对跳蛋说：“你抖个屁啊？她要吃的是我！”。

The banana say to the vibrator,"Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me!" .

曾经有位传教士在非洲一个小部落里传教。整个部落都爱戴他，每一天都会有更多的人改信他的宗教。

但有一天，部落中的一名妇女产下了一个皮肤白皙的孩子。酋长立马就派人去找来传教士，要求他说明为什么会打破自己亲授的戒律。

传教士这一生都是个虔诚的基督徒，就问自己能否看看那个孩子。只是看了一眼孩子，他就明白了，这孩子得了白化病。

于是传教士就试着跟酋长解释，说：“酋长，这个孩子是得了一种皮肤会白化的疾病。跟您举个例子，您养的这群羊，所有的羊都是白色的，但却有一只是黑色的。”

酋长打断了他，说：“这样吧，你要是不跟别人说羊的事儿，我也不再提这孩子的事儿了。”

There was once a missionary preaching in a small African tribe. The people there loved him, and every day more were converted.

But one day, a white baby was born to one of the women in the tribe. The chief immediately sent for the missionary and demanded to know why he had broken the commandments he had so lovingly taught to his people.

The missionary, having been a devout Christian his entire life, asked to see the child. Upon viewing the baby, it became clear that this baby was an albino.

The missionary attempted to explain this to the chief, saying:

“Chief, this child suffers from a condition of the skin which changed its color to white. As an example, look upon your flocks of sheep. All are white, except for one which is black.”

The chief cuts him off, saying:

“Ok, I won’t tell about the baby if you don’t tell about the sheep.”

（4）

在我的柠檬水摊子，第一杯柠檬水是免费的，第二杯收费5美元。续杯里面有解药。

At my lemonade stand, I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

90岁时的滚床单就像是用根儿绳子打台球。

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

-洋葱和孩子有什么不同点？

-剥洋葱的时候会流泪。

-What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

-I cry peeling Onions!

爆炸发生后露西去哪儿了？遍地都是。